I Pick My Scabs: Anna Wintour At Walmart

So I hate to admit this, but sometimes I find myself stumbling into Walmart. Their prices are dirt cheap, probably due to the fact they pay like shit. I have a whole ritual that precedes the act of going into Walmart. I drink a lot of Jack Daniels and Red Bull so I'm completely fucked up and don't remember a thing. The last thing I need is the image of obesity, Type 2 Diabetes, double chins with Cheeto stains and cousins that are married to each other burned in my mind. One time I made the mistake of wearing my 3-D glasses in Walmart. I was not warned that asses look way bigger through those, I thought I was on a Whaling ship.

Anyhow on my way in I spotted Anna Wintour and her daughter. I could tell Anna Wintour loved my "lumberjack meets 1990's grunge hooker I'm so awesome look." Yeah you could tell her and her daughter were jealous. Now what aisle is the Shake Weight in?