Why I Typically Avoid Water Tower Place and Farting in A&F

The most annoying place to shop in Chicago has got to be Water Tower Place. I don't like it for several reasons, one of which is the onslaught of tourists that need to take their brats to American Girl Place because they don't have one in DeMoines, Iowa. Another is the maze of escalators, which people file on like rats and unfortunately there is no Capriole Old Kentucky Tomme raw goat cheese at the end:( 


The moment I step into that place I get disoriented and I wind up spending way more time in there than any person should. I went directly to the food place so I could get a sample cup and try some garlicky brussel sprouts. I like them because they make my breath offensive and hopefully cause me to clear a straight path so I can accomplish what I had intended. Now of course by this time I have gotten sidetracked and forgot why I walked into this rat trap in the first place. My intention winds up being my last action. The highlight of my excursion was farting in the Abercrombie and Fitch dressing room while trying on a pair of their skinny jeans. I knew I shouldn't have sampled those brussel sprouts, silent and deadly. Well it's not like anyone in Abercrombie and Fitch could even smell it since their sinuses were flooded with cologne. I also tried on some floral jeans at Billabong. I wear a waist size 24 or 25 and I couldn't fit in their size 1, well I could, I just couldn't zip them and why? because they are literally made for people that are starving. My shopping trip involved me talking with my mom on the phone while staring at an Everose Gold Rolex Daytona Watch at Torneau. I'd say it's about time I should buy that watch, in my dreams. In conclusion Mustard Gas was first used by the German Army in WWI in September 1917 and now Brussel Sprout Gas was first used by Samantha V in Abercrombie and Fitch in September 2010. 

(This store makes me want to puke)

Samantha V.♥✌♡✌♥