Hipster Revolution, I'm so fucking cool

I'm so fucking cool, I drink PBR, I drink Red Stripe. 


I'm so fucking cool, with my half shaven head, coming out of an American Apparel.


Haven't showered in half a year, I smell like I'm half dead.


I own a cat.


I like Franzia and any alcohol that comes in a cardboard box.


I'm so fucking cool, I wear t-shirts with animals and asteroids that look like they were stolen from Zack Morris' closet, all of my hipster friends came out of that closet.


I'm so fucking cool because I roll my own cigs, even if a harsh gale wind blows I don't let the fact that my American Spirit tobacco gets blown in my face get me down.


Yeah that's right I blog my ugly outfits while drinking Moonshine and I own an i-Phone, but don't tell anyone. I want them to think I use a bag phone from 1992. It's okay I have a typewriter app on my i-Phone so I can text in Courier font all day long. 


I'm so fucking cool you can't tell if I'm a girl or a boy. Androgyny is hot. Girls with hairy legs, boys with skinny thighs and tits on both. 


I secretly may have a trust fund, but that's between the art school that I attend and myself. I'm so tortured,  I'm so amazing and I'm so fucking cool. 


I find myself in used book stores, making art that is amazing and so conceptual it's beyond you, it really is. I wear glasses without lenses because I am that cool. 


Keds, saddle shoes, standing pigeon toed with bow legs and knock knees just so I can pull off that right amount of awkward. The awkward that makes everyone want to fuck me even though I have a massive amount of body odor. 


As far as my friends know I am a tortured sole that sleeps under bridges and spends some nights in hostels. 


Are you impressed yet. 


Oh yeah I also have a Tumblr, duh. Because everyone gives a shit what I'm doing with my life.


-Self important hipster


Samantha V♥✌♡✌♥