Hipster Revolution, I'm so fucking cool

I'm so fucking cool, I drink PBR, I drink Red Stripe. 


I'm so fucking cool, with my half shaven head, coming out of an American Apparel.


Haven't showered in half a year, I smell like I'm half dead.


I own a cat.


I like Franzia and any alcohol that comes in a cardboard box.


I'm so fucking cool, I wear t-shirts with animals and asteroids that look like they were stolen from Zack Morris' closet, all of my hipster friends came out of that closet.


I'm so fucking cool because I roll my own cigs, even if a harsh gale wind blows I don't let the fact that my American Spirit tobacco gets blown in my face get me down.


Yeah that's right I blog my ugly outfits while drinking Moonshine and I own an i-Phone, but don't tell anyone. I want them to think I use a bag phone from 1992. It's okay I have a typewriter app on my i-Phone so I can text in Courier font all day long. 


I'm so fucking cool you can't tell if I'm a girl or a boy. Androgyny is hot. Girls with hairy legs, boys with skinny thighs and tits on both. 


I secretly may have a trust fund, but that's between the art school that I attend and myself. I'm so tortured,  I'm so amazing and I'm so fucking cool. 


I find myself in used book stores, making art that is amazing and so conceptual it's beyond you, it really is. I wear glasses without lenses because I am that cool. 


Keds, saddle shoes, standing pigeon toed with bow legs and knock knees just so I can pull off that right amount of awkward. The awkward that makes everyone want to fuck me even though I have a massive amount of body odor. 


As far as my friends know I am a tortured sole that sleeps under bridges and spends some nights in hostels. 


Are you impressed yet. 


Oh yeah I also have a Tumblr, duh. Because everyone gives a shit what I'm doing with my life.


-Self important hipster


Samantha V♥✌♡✌♥

I Really Don't Like This

I do love what Rodarte churns out most of the time, but then while perusing Opening Ceremony I saw this ensemble, and thought "this is total dreck, yuck." I feel like a trend has been taking the fashion world by storm for a while now. That trend is the "it's so unhip, it's actually hip trend" and I think we can thank American Apparel and art student hipsters everywhere for starting this trend. It's become popular to wear t-shirts with cosmic backgrounds that feature dolphins or Husky dogs in the center. This reminds me of Lisa Frank school supplies and some hideous marine life laced folders I used to buy in second grade that also had a hint of Thomas Kinkade. I'm all for geeks, I'm all for unfashionable, but what I'm not for is people pretending to be that way, just so they can consider themselves cool and hip. You don't see me wearing Otomix bodybuilding pants to the gym with a Gold's Gym tank (showing off my boobies) so I can bring back a has been trend. Although maybe now I will buy a pair of Otomix bodybuilding pants. Now I do like the way a lot of hipsters dress, but I don't like the ones that try to hard to be different, because there is nothing different about trying too hard.


I think the only time that I feel cosmic pattern are acceptable is if they are coming from Peter Pilotto, then  I find them appealing.


Here are some things that have made a comeback or that are considered popular when they really shouldn't be. Just so we are clear here there is nothing cool about going to a store (such as American Apparel) and dropping $500 for a couple of outfits just to look like you walked out of a thrift store. Just as I would never pay a whopping $3,000 for a dress that looks like my grandma made it for me and then somehow got regurgitated her pussy (cat). Meow.

(From the top: first three and the two after the animal tees

 are from American Apparel, Animals tees from Animal Ts,

Rodarte Granny Square dress from Opening Ceremony)

Samantha V.♥✌♡✌♥