Happy HOLLA!-days

WWDD? (What Would Disney Do?), I'll tell you what he would do. OMG, my Holidays were amazing. I wanted to share with y'all what a great time I had. Walt Disney posthumously took notice of my amazing fashioness and he flew me down to Florida to take part in Disneyworld Christmas Fashion Week RTW (DCFW Ready to Wear). Ryan Seacrest is uber jealous of moi because Walt likes me better. FYI if you wondered where Anna Wintour and Betsey Johnson were this season they were with me. It was such a great experience and I even got to be part of a Manger Nativity Scene (MNS). I'm pretty sure Betsey stole baby Jesus. I invited my younger cousin along so she could meet the real Santa and sit on his lap. I never knew how fat Mrs. Claus was until I got up close. I think she shops at Dress Barn, I didn't know they had those in the North Pole. 


Wait till you see my partying with the Jews for Hanukah ;-)

Samantha V. ♥✌♡✌♥

Anna Wintour At Walmart

So I hate to admit this, but sometimes I find myself stumbling into Walmart. Their prices are dirt cheap, probably due to the fact they pay like shit. I have a whole ritual that precedes the act of going into Walmart. I drink a lot of Jack Daniels and Red Bull so I'm completely fucked up and don't remember a thing. The last thing I need is the image of obesity, Type 2 Diabetes, double chins with Cheeto stains and cousins that are married to each other burned in my mind. One time I made the mistake of wearing my 3-D glasses in Walmart. I was not warned that asses look way bigger through those, I thought I was on a Whaling ship. 


Anyhow on my way in I spotted Anna Wintour and her daughter. I could tell Anna Wintour loved my "lumberjack meets 1990's grunge hooker I'm so awesome look." Yeah you could tell her and her daughter were jealous. Now what aisle is the Shake Weight in? 

Samantha V. ♥✌♡✌♥

The Best Week Ever

So because I'm such an amazing blogger and I have so many followers, lol, Giorgio Armani asked me to participate in his fashion show. It was so cool, I drank a lot of Moet Chandon and I wound up going to the gynecologist drunk. 


The gynecologist drunk is way better than sober because no one likes what they do to you. While I was  sitting in the waiting room for an hour and a half I ran into Anna Wintour and wowed her with my impressive fashion. I thought people like Anna Wintour don't go out to the obgyn, but rather the gynecologist comes to them like a Peapod delivery service. I wonder what she was doing there, let's just say probably a Silken Secret, if you get my drift. And I'm sure she has a Louis Vuitton monogrammed box. 

Samantha V. ♥✌♡✌♥