So because I'm such an amazing blogger and I have so many followers, lol, Giorgio Armani asked me to participate in his fashion show. It was so cool, I drank a lot of Moet Chandon and I wound up going to the gynecologist drunk.
The gynecologist drunk is way better than sober because no one likes what they do to you. While I was sitting in the waiting room for an hour and a half I ran into Anna Wintour and wowed her with my impressive fashion. I thought people like Anna Wintour don't go out to the obgyn, but rather the gynecologist comes to them like a Peapod delivery service. I wonder what she was doing there, let's just say probably a Silken Secret, if you get my drift. And I'm sure she has a Louis Vuitton monogrammed box.
I was at the gym this morning on the Stairmaster Stepmill and nothing could kill someone's motivation more than watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV. The show is dreck, but at the same time it looks miserable and depressing. All of these girls are white trash that hook up with losers all because of "the moment." They must all be Republicans, seriously. It made me want to crawl into my own skin....gross. Then last week I was at the Jewel purchasing some bananas and I see an issue of In Touch Weekly that reads, "Teen Moms In Crisis." Who the fuck gives a shit? The magazine is so desperate for news that they feature some MTV teen mom bitches on their rags. I would rather see a feature on Martha Stewart going to the gynecologist or Justin Bieber naked. Believe you me Justin Bieber naked is pretty much like a Ken doll, a bump, maybe a lump, but no joystick. Speaking of which if we knew that Martha Stewart's secretions were actually made of whipped cream dudes everywhere would be approaching her with strawberries.
All I'm saying is society needs to wake up and actually invest their time in things that are good.
